Esses and Enns

April is going to be a beautiful month. I knew a girl named April once who is now I expect no I know she is married. She wore quite a lot of makeup and was very good at organization and leadership. when I decided April would be beautiful Iwas not immediately thinking of the girl I once knew, but her presence in teh chain of thought signifies something. Perhaps the aspects of her personality-the makeup, the follow through-will be things I will suddenly be gifted with as soon as April starts. I wish the month of April would go ahead and start.

I will maybe buy some sort of new hat. I will maybe feel like a thing that is alive and alove. I saw a man drop a dollar on the train today. I was eating a pound of the green melon known as honey dew. I forgot how sweet it is which is completely unbelievable as the name itches with sweetness. I ate it with a plastic fork and I stared straight ahead into nothing with my back curved and bags and bags beneath my feet and on my lap. I carry too much. I always want to need something that I already have. That to me feels convenient and like I am prepared for anything and also like I am complete in the face of the wilderness. Often I leave the most important things behind, however. Like medicine. Money. My mind. Ha.

The man dropped his dollar as he was arranging the various things on his body. He was standing right in front of me on the train platform and tying the sweater about his waist this was and then another way. I was watching him over the horizon of my honey dew because he was standing over the horizon of my honey dew. Stabbing with plastic. That strange heavenly green. The pillowcase/sheets of an iceberg. the dollar fell and immediately, without waiting for him to pick it up which I'm sure he was about to do...this man who was so carefully and rapidly adjusting his outfit was not oblivious to the loss of this money. I said, "You lost a dollar."

He bent to pick it up and put it into his picket. Pocket. He said "Lost is an overstatement."

I think he was very right and I was wrong. However, to my credit, I think my reasoning can be explained. I felt the need to speak. Because no one else really was that I noticed or maybe everyone was speaking at once but not about the principal thing: that being, the dollar which had fallen. I needed to make a noise with my mouth and also, Ithink part of me wanted that dollar.

In that sense and also in the sense of being an unnecessary voice, I was wrong. Perhaps also in teh spelling of unnecessary. I never understand the complicated rules involving s's and n's. Esses and Enns.

Esses and Enns.