No reason

Its fine to imagine being born for no reason. Being a free agent and having all these sweet deal every roads a different kind of life choices. I agreeeeeeee with that. I agree with that.

But then you see a picture of your grandmother. And you realize you've never considered her to be a person as much as you've thought of her as an extension of yourself. Then you start to think of all the people that think of you that way...as extensions of themselves. This is my girlfriend. This is my sister. My mother. Oh shit.

Reason? Reason then? The scariest thing in the world is to look at a picture of yourself as a baby and realize you look like a baby. There's people in the picture all around you that are old now. People in the picture all around you that are dead now. Makes you resent the no reason. Makes me resent the no reason.

Because then...choices, yes. Choices are good. But this meant to be shit? This family shit? It must be something we need and have created with our minds to attach ourselves to one another. It must be...a mind-created thing...shit...that we need...I'm essentially saying the same thing over again...but I mean, candles? set tables saying grace and holding hands and mourning for each other? You start to wonder...I start to wonder who are these people? I start to feel like what's the point of being a family if we're all going to live on seperate sides of the world and barely speak? So you have someone to leave your shit to when you die? No reason?